In honour of my Dad

It's with a heavy heart I write this post that my dad David Hart passed away quietly at home after a long battle with esophageal cancer on the 9th of February 

Dad knew so many people, but he's probably best known for all the years he was the entertainment secretary at Shottermill Club in Haslemere, dad loved to sing and was an entertainer through and through, he never let the fact he had a chronic stammer or that he couldn't tell a joke for the life of him without cracking up before the end hold him back

Image Description - Close up head and shoulders shot of my dad looking directly at the camera, the background is out of focus

Dad was always willing to help others and would quite literally give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it more than he did

There are so many things I could say about my dad and his good deeds, but he was never one to brag and I won't start now

It was only once dads Alzheimer's really kicked in that he started opening up about just how tough life was growing up with a chronic stammer in the 50's and 60's and what it was like getting sent away to boarding school at a very young age

Image Description - My dad aged around 75 wearing a blue football shirt with his arms outstretched singing in front of a live band

 Because of my own health issues during the pandemic, I had to stay sheltered so our only connection was the sound of your voice through the phone, we spoke often, but the phone hid the physical toll that time was taking

When mum suffered her stroke I wasn't prepared for the man who greeted me, the big, strong Dad of my childhood had been replaced by someone who looked impossibly frail, was easily confused and something most definitely wasn't right

The weeks that followed were a blur of white coats and sterile rooms, culminating in a day that felt like a physical blow, a dual diagnosis of Alzheimer’s and esophageal cancer

Even in the face of that double blow your first instinct was to shield others. "Don't tell anyone yet," you told me, you didn’t want to upset anybody even though your own world was falling apart your priority as always was the peace of others

Image Description - My dad (left) and his older brother John who sadly passed in 2019 when they were much younger, I'm guessing late teens or very early 20s going by the DA hairstyles, they're standing side by side and looking directly at the camera, they're mirroring each other looking as if they couldn't care less about their photo being taken, but in reality wanted to look really cool 

The month of daily radiotherapy was grueling but it was during those hospital visits that I truly learned what it meant to be your advocate. It was painful to watch some of the medical staff treat you as if you weren’t in the room and interrupting your answers to address me instead

I knew how much that stung you as being interrupted is the height of rudeness for someone with a stammer. It didn’t just hurt your feelings it stole the momentum you needed to find your words. Stepping in to demand you be heard was my way of returning the protection you had given me my entire life.

Growing up, I never noticed your stammer it was simply the rhythm of your voice, as natural as the way you walked

It was only when I faced the cruelty of school bullies that I realised just how much strength it took for you to navigate a world that isn't always patient

You taught me your secret weapon. "Make them laugh," you'd say, you showed me how to poke fun at myself, to use humour to disarm a bully by taking away their power before they could ever use anything against me

Watching you navigate the Alzheimer’s and cancer was a devastating lesson in a different kind of strength, you may have lost your physical power, but the lessons you instilled in me, the selflessness, the resilience, and the quiet dignity still remained untouched

You only get one father in this life and I'm eternally grateful that you were mine, a man who taught me how to find my voice

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

In lieu of flowers at the funeral (which was today) we're asking for donations to The Hunter Centre, a day care and respite center for people with dementia who can enjoy a variety of activities in a safe and secure environment where dad spent many happy hours each week

If you wish to make a donation to The Hunter Centre you can find the Just Giving link here. If you were unable to attend dad's funeral in person you can view it at https://watch.obitus.com using the Username piqo2246 and the Password 734068

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I like to think that the reason Boris was called from us so suddenly in January was so that he could go ahead to show the you the way and keep you company

Image Description - A beautiful memorial framed artwork of Boris the black Cocker spaniel surrounded by flowers on a rainbow background and a blue mount by Ingrid from Meezer's Mews & Terrieristical Woofs

Boris adored visiting you as much as you enjoyed seeing him, he was always so gentle with you as he sat with his head on your knee waiting for you to stroke him and rub his ears

Rest in peace together Dad and Boris

You're both so deeply missed it hurts

Dawn & Eko xxx 

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