Thursday, March 04, 2021

Mud + Rain = Happy Cockers

Lets get another Cocker he said, it'll be fun he said


But seriously don't get a Cocker Spaniel if you haven't got a really good sense of  humour about mud and bad smells
Especially fox poop

Don't get me wrong Cockers are fantastic dogs, but oh my crikey they do love to put your devotion to the test with their love of all things filthy and disgusting 

Friday, February 19, 2021

Magic Wand Dog Training Centre


Hello: This is the Magic Wand Dog Training Centre, we are unable to come to the phone but please press or enter the number for your request, we will return your call as soon as possible.

Press 01 to tell me your dog has been asked to leave the local obedience club because he won't sit, wait, down or come when called (even when on lead) so you thought you would try agility.

Press 02 if your Labrador is morbidly obese and you thought you would try agility.

Press 03 if you want 30 minutes of advice and have no intention of paying for it.

Press 04 if you describe your dog as 'a little bit naughty' when what you really mean is that the b*st*rd bites ... hard.

Press 05 if you want puppy training classes but your Boxer is already 12 months old.

Friday, January 22, 2021

Lockdown Memo

Dear hoomans,
I have noticed over the past couple of weeks you have been staying in my home for extended periods of time. It is lovely having you here but I feel I should set a few ground rules. I would appreciate it if you would follow the rules whilst you are staying with me.

1. When you do pop out you will need to take me with you.

2. You seem to be eating lots of nice goodies whilst lazing about the house. I am entitled to a share of these. I won’t make a fuss I will just sit in front of you and quietly stare at you until I get my quota.

3. Don’t call me for another bath, I am clean now. Just because you are bored doesn’t mean I need a wash or haircut. I suggest you go clean the metal box on wheels outside again. Daddy human has done that a few times now even though it hasn’t moved in weeks.