16 October 2023

Hello Monday

Looking forward to a new week

Amazingly the calendar is empty of any appointments this week, but that doesn't mean it'll be a slow week, anything can change at a moment's notice when you're a caregiver to someone with dementia

A profile head shot facing to the right of a much younger Boris the Black Cocker Spaniel amongst the dead bracken out on the common. Boris is wearing the distinctive Help for Heroes collar which has three bands of colour, dark blue, red and light blue to represent the armed services. Photo Credit Fur & Fables
Photo Description - A profile head shot facing to the right of a much younger Boris the Black Cocker Spaniel amongst the dead bracken out on the common. Boris is wearing the distinctive Help for Heroes collar which has three bands of colour, dark blue, red and light blue to represent the armed services. Photo Credit Fur & Fables

The anti anxiety meds dad's GP prescribed him appear to finally be working, last night was the first full night's sleep I've had in weeks without dad in distress and confusion because he's had a nightmare and is convinced it's real

I've been looking at day care for dad one or two days a week, he's so frail and his mobility has greatly reduced in the past couple of weeks, so he's not getting out and about and seeing people anymore, which hasn't helped as dad has always been so active

Dad has always been very gregarious and since his GP referred dad to the local dementia support network a couple of weeks ago, it's one of the main things they've suggested for dad so that he can spend time with others and make new friends

Dad isn't very keen on the idea at the moment, but I've booked us an appointment at The Hunter Centre in Haslemere for next week so that dad can have a look around and see what he thinks

The centre comes highly recommended by a friend whose mum used to attend and when I popped in the other day to make enquiries I immediately felt welcomed and that dad's happiness is important

I have mixed emotions about dad attending a day centre as it feels like I'm letting him down in some way, but I also hate seeing him so confused and lonely, but we'll give it a try and I'll be guided by dad's reaction, hopefully he'll like the idea once he's had a look around and met the staff

The advantage would be that if dad enjoys it there he could stay all day if he wanted too, which would free up some of my time to then do more things with mum

Whereas at the moment I have to stay with dad for any activities we do, which makes it really difficult spending as much time with mum who refuses point blank to leave the house unless it's hospital related

Mum also gets really narky if I spend more time with dad than I do with her, which often results in her getting so angry with me if she thinks she's been slighted in any way, she then starts screaming at me about all my faults like she used too before I left home at 15

I've tried explaining to mum about dad's decline and him needing more help on more than one occasion, but between her narcissistic personality and the start of vascular dementia she either forgets or doesn't care

Hopefully dad will want to attend the day centre at least once a week as I can then spend some of that time with mum. When I can persuade mum to go out she usually enjoys it once she's out, but crikey it's hard work persuading her once her mind is set on not to do something

Nothing in life prepares you to become the parent to your parents, I'm just muddling through as best I can

Dawn xxx 

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  1. Boris is handsome. A huge Awww.

    Sorry about your parents. I so remember how difficult things became. You're a good person to care for them as you do. Never feel guilty.

    Thank you for joining the Awww Mondays Blog Hop.

    Have a fabulous Awww Monday and week. Scritches to Boris. ♥

  2. Oh Boris ~ good to see handsome you in this wonderful photo ~ Xo

    Wishing you good health, laughter and love in your days,
    A ShutterBug Explores,
    aka (A Creative Harbor)

    1. Thank you Carol, Kerry who took the photo always makes the boys look their best xxx

  3. It's sure tough dealing with parents in peril, muddling through is all a person can do. I do hope your Dad likes the day care place. Hugs from all of us.

    1. Thank you Terry, he's started looking forward to a look around next week which is good news xxx

  4. Never mention you're not busy because busy will find you

    1. Oh yes, it's like never mentioning the Q word either 🤣🤣🤣 xxx

  5. What a beautiful dog photo! I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. My husband's parents are elderly with some dementia, too, especially his mom. They live a little over an hour away, so my husband is kept busy going to help them. It really helps his mom when she gets visitors because it gets lonely and dreary, so my husband has arranged for a few different people to visit. I'm glad you came by my blog! Nice to "meet" you.

    1. Thank you Pam, nobody prepares you for these life changing circumstances do they, dad is looking forward to visiting the day centre now so hopefully we have a successful visit and he likes it there xxx

  6. Thank you for joining the Happy Tuesday Blog Hop.

    Have a fabulous Happy Tuesday. ♥

    1. Thank you and hope you've had a great week Sandee xxx

  7. I truly understand your situation. Daddy was more mobile Mama was not mobile. Neither in the best of health but managing. I was always waiting for the next lead shoe to drop. Mama had Lewy's Body Dementia, a form of Parkinson's disease.
    They had a very nice lady come in to prepare their main meal. Mama's meds gave her hallucinations. Her dreams were violent...which was sad since she never had any violence in her life.. Dementia creeps up when we least expect it. Hugs for you and Dad.
    Hugs Cecilia

    1. Thank you Cecilia, it's so difficult to watch their personalities changing into different people and getting upset about things that we can't really help with xxx

  8. Boris is quite handsome.

    You are doing a fabulous job with your parents. It's never easy and they are blessed to have you.

  9. Thank you, no it's never easy xxx


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